The Butterfly Moment

“Hello Gorgeous!” Someone whispered in the vicinity.

I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn’t even bother to look around. I was staring at the distance which seemed blurred. It wasn’t the distance which caused the haziness but the tears that had welled up in my eyes. I would skip the reasons which made me teary eyed but can confess that  the tears were brought on by some instances from the past, insecurities of the present and ambiguity of the future. I felt like a prisoner to my own self, chained to responsibilities towards family, career and expectations of the society. I wasn’t compelled to follow them, yet I did…. Involuntarily.

“Hello Princess!”  The sweet voice floated into my ears again and this time, with a fluttering sound.

I was taken by surprise. Why would anyone call me by such names? You got to be joking! I was so engulfed in self-doubt that I wasn’t ready to believe the whisper.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw a colorful butterfly perched on my shoulder.

“Were you calling out to me?” I asked her. She spread her wings, took off from my shoulder and settled herself on a flower pot right in front of me.

“Why do you look so astonished my dear?” She questioned me.

With displeasure I replied, “Well, I am not worthy of those names.”

With a rather puzzled look she asked, “Since when did you start believing that?”

By now I was irritated. She had intruded into my reverie and now like many others was mocking me too. How could a gorgeous free spirited creature like her ever empathize with me? She was the epitome of glamour and freedom and I was just the opposite. I could never be like her!

I am not sure whether she had the ability to read my thoughts but after flirting around me for some time she whispered into my ears, “Princess, have you ever heard of the word Metamorphosis?”

Definition of Metamorphosis -The biological process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.

I recollected this definition which I had learnt several years back in school. I even remembered witnessing a pupa converting into a butterfly in my garden. But how was all this related to our conversation?

“Metamorphosis happened only to insects and amphibians, not mammals!” I replied curtly.

She smiled ….“Metamorphosis is not only transformation but also your willingness to change to a new form. Being a caterpillar was not unworthy but evolution was the demand of time. To be able to take off, I needed to undergo a change,”she said.

Now I had a point to counter, my eyes gleamed while I boldly questioned her. “What do you know about change? All you had to do in the name of change was to convert to a pupa from being a caterpillar and after few weeks break open and fly away as a beautiful butterfly. You can never ever understand the pain and struggle we humans have to undergo to change our paths and lifestyles. Even after we decide to remould, the battle continues every day. The pressure to prove ourselves along with the fear of non-acceptance curb us from taking the flight.”

There was silence for some time. I could assess from her grim expression that I had struck a painful chord in her.

“It was neither an easy task nor a comfortable journey for me. As a caterpillar, I dreamt of flying but it seemed too far-fetched. How could someone even dream of transforming from a caterpillar to a butterfly? I dared and decided to take the plunge but the struggle commenced only after that. Staying within the cocoon was not as simple as it looked. My body disintegrated, cells dissolved to form new ones. You cannot fathom the pain I endured.”

“Then came the time, when I had to leave the cocoon.. I had my insecurities, I had never flown before. I was expected to break open the chrysalis, pump blood into my newly formed wings and fly away. What if I failed after all my efforts? No one could help me but myself. I mustered up my courage, spread my wings and took off. It was not miraculous but a joyous moment for me. Was that the end of my struggle? No, no my dear, I could fly but then I needed to adapt to new surroundings, new circumstances and of course new attractive competitors and till date the struggle continues.”

As I heard her speak about her journey, many things fell into place like a jigsaw puzzle.

The caterpillar was complete in herself till the day she had an urge to fly. It was time for me to identify my stage in this life-cycle.

If you dream to fly, you need to transform yourself, be willing to leave the safety of your cocoon and necessarily go through all the pain and struggle. There is no liberation without pain. Metamorphosis demands of us to grow, to change into a new state of being, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

As she stretched her wings to take off, I reached out and asked for her name. “I am Pari” she said. “What’s yours?”

“Princess”, I replied with a twinkle in my eyes.

Pari (Fairy in English) was such an apt name for this winged creature, a fairy god mother indeed!

I saw her fly into the blue horizon and this time it wasn’t looking blurred anymore. I visualized the vast sky and felt the wind beneath my wings, all ready to take off , It was my “Butterfly” moment, the moment when I was ready to make that quantum leap and start my metamorphosis 

Since that day, I have done radical changes within me which has elevated my confidence in different ways. I have a new outlook towards life …. Not sure whether it has made me successful in any ways but the journey has definitely boosted my endorphins.